Return to Sender

Nearly 18 months after moving into our house we still get mail for previous occupiers. Often it is of a serious tone, involving agencies such as the likes of BayCorp.

Despite our dutifully returning these letters back to sender, stating that Mohammed, Sanjay, Ruth, Peter, and Mandy no longer live at this address, businesses seem unable to cope with this process, and instead send us more mail with a vengeance.

Today we received yet another misdirected letter, this time from a local video store. Investigative analysis revealed it was another stern reminder for unpaid fees.

“We have returned so many of these now”, complains Beau. “Should we really still be obligated to send them back?”.

“No”, I reply. “It won’t accomplish anything. And Baycorp will never turn up either.”

“Do a google search for ‘Mohammed Ahmani’*”, I suggest. “Maybe we can provide them with enlightenment ourselves.”


“Better yet, do a google image search for Mohammed.”

I quickly realize my faux pas.

But for a  crime nearly as dire as typing google, into google, I can hardly resist, distracting myself from the task at hand.

Fortunately, Beau’s cyber-sleuthing was more focussed, and with a 4chan-like efficiency he quickly reveals Mr Ahmani’s education history, age, email, and the fact he now lives in Panama.

I guess we will be getting misdirected mail for a while yet.

*Family name changed.

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One Response to Return to Sender

  1. David says:

    At Invermay and Fowlds I had Baliffs/Debt Collectors looking for the previous tenants. Once you tell them you’re new they go away. I don’t know how they know that’s the truth? The mail still kept on coming though. Not a problem at my current place, guess because it was owner-occupied?

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