Hats Off

I recently had to get a new passport.

I filled out the form, and had my passport photo taken.

I was told I had to remove my hat.

Now if I had more time, and wasn’t travelling to the US in three weeks, I would have fought this grave injustice with a vengeance.

Damn it, my hat is part of my religion.

Just for the record, I believe if my head isn’t covered, then the rays of an invisible man will penetrate my brain and cause voices in my head*.

Unfortunately, if I try and explain this, people look at me strange. This is odd, because this very phenonmen affects [mb]illions of people world wide, but is explained as people having a personal relationship with god.

Now personally, I don’t want an invisible man telling me what to do, hence my hat.

Alas, the NZ government wasn’t sympathetic to my plight.

And so it came to be, that briefly in the middle of the day, I had to remove it.

I now have a rather grumpy looking photo embedded into my passport, which ironically has little resemblance to the real me.

Hopefully this won’t raise alarms with US custom officials (because we know that terrorists all wear hats).


*Off the record, I just like wearing one.

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3 Responses to Hats Off

  1. Simon says:

    Is your hat tinfoil lined by any chance?

    If not I know where to get some sheet lead. Much better shielding properties!

    Might make you shorter though….

  2. Ian says:

    They also tell you that you can’t smile, or partially smile, during the photo, and they ask which passport you’re applying for, since the requirements differ (different background colours, different amount of body shown in the photo, etc).

    I’m surprised you didn’t mention that your brand spanking new passport only lasts for 5 years now – previously 10 – despite the appliation fee being the same.

  3. michelle says:

    Or 4 1/2 if travelling to the US, all in the name of ‘wannabe’ security.

    Well, at least it should give me enough time found TOHR, The Official Hat Religon.

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