A couple of weeks ago, I’m leaving work, heading along Symonds Street dodging the bustle of other pedestrians, when my eyes are drawn to some distinctively coloured pieces of paper.
Surprised that no-one else has noticed, I pick up the money, and immediately start looking around for the ‘Target’ hidden TV cameras.
While the cash isn’t enough to fill up the tank of an SUV, it’s enough for a dinner date, and I figure someone would miss it pretty quickly.
I loiter around for another five minutes, unsuccessfully trying to spot someone who might have just realized they lost something (or who is from Target).
Eventually I decide I’ll need to take a another approach to reunite the cash with its rightful owner, and I continue on home.
I briefly contemplate handing it in to the police, but then reason I don’t have enough faith in humanity for that. (I.e. if it was me who lost the money, I would be too embarrassed to even go to the police, out of fear they’d just laugh at me.)
Once home, I fire off an email to Sideswipe at the NZ herald. I figure with the low-grade swipes they’re publishing on the back-page these days, they would be more than keen to publish a good-old lost/found entry. To my dismay it never gets published.
It has now been two weeks, and the money remains securely stored at home. It’s not my money, I have no right to spend it. However, using ignorance to deal with the issue is not a constructive solution either. So, as I am now unlikely able to return it*, I have decided I should donate it to an altruistic cause.
Personally I like the idea of splitting it up into smaller denominations and handing it out to random people on the street as a social experiment.
Although probably a better deed would be to use it to buy cat food and drop that off at the SPCA.
*Unless by some bizarre coincidence the money is yours, and you happen to be reading this and you’re not from Nigeria, then please get in touch with me.