Plastering Mayhem

Or, HowTo: Renovate a Villa:

  • Strip wallpaper
  • Examine now revealed half-assed plastered mess of old gib, 1cm gaps between sheets, holes, half protruding nails, and ill fitted light and electrical fittings.
  • Undeterred, enthusiastically plaster all holes with home-mixed plaster.
  • Examine resulting rough finish.
  • Visit Bunnings Warehouse for ready-made plaster and trowels.
  • Sand back down previous attempt, and enthusiastically re-plaster all holes and gaps.
  • Briefly admire finish.
  • Examine hairline cracks appearing throughout.
  • Visit Bunnings Warehouse plastering workshop. Learn error of ways, and buy tape and more trowelling tools.
  • Enthusiastically re-plaster gaps, this time with tape.
  • Examine smooth finish, and look impressed.
  • Re-examine the following weekend, and notice bubbles and cracks appearing around tape. Rip down tape and repeat.
  • Read more plastering instructions, and watch informative videos on YouTube.
  • Enthusiastically sand down previous plastering attempts, and re-apply tape and plaster.
  • Examine finish. Cautiously apply second and third coats.
  • Examine finish.
  • Go to Internet to find out how much new gib costs.
  • Rip down tape, sand back to old gib, and re-plaster. Reassure Significant Other that they’re doing a good job. Cheer up SO, by offering hot blueberry muffins.
  • Examine result. Start browsing Yellow Pages for local professional plasterers

To be continued…

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